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Takashi`s Diary - week 22

By Peter Sidell | Thursday, May 22, 2008

Hello! I`m Takashi, salaryman of the future. Really: the week before last I fell through a wormhole in the space-time continuum during my lunch break. Future office life is routine, but futuristic. Here`s what happened last week. Or, what will happen in last week of the future. Or, what will have been happened. I`m so confused.

Monday: wake up at 5:30am. Train of the future at 6:30. Start work at 8:00. Buy `Wormholes in the Space-time Continuum for Dummies` during lunch break. Finish at 9:00 (pm, not am, ha ha). Drinking until 11:50. Last train of the future at midnight. In bed at 1:15am.

Tuesday: wake up at 5:30am. Train of the future at 6:30. Start work at 8:00. Pilfer coffee-machine of the future, rice-cooker of the future and punch-clock of the future from office. Finish work at 9:00 (pm, not am, ha ha). Drinking until 11:50. Last train of the future at midnight. In bed at 1:15am.

Wednesday: wake up at 5:30am. Train of the future at 6:30. Start work at 8:00. Buy air-conditioner of the future and trombone of the future during lunch-break. Finish work at 9:00 (pm, not am, ha ha). Drinking until 11:50. Last train of the future at midnight. In bed at 1:15am.

Thursday: wake up at 8:15am. Call in sick at 8:33. Write down every Miss Japan, Formula One champion and University Robot-a-thon winner since my own time. Construct wormhole device from cannibalised appliance parts, and connect to trombone. Pleasure wife of the future until 4:41 (am, not pm, oh yeahhh).

Friday: wake up at 11:06am. Fire up wormhole device and jump in at 11:10. See Takashi of the future falling back to the future: I bow, he winks and gives me thumbs up. Find myself alone in love hotel bed at 11:10. Check phone: lots of foul-tempered messages from Yoshinaga-san. Taxi at 11:23. Start work at 11:44. Borderline psychotic reprimand from Yoshinaga-san at 11:47. Finish work at 11:45 (pm, not am). Drinking until 11:50. Last crappy present-day train at midnight. In bed at 1:15am.

Saturday: DAY OFF! Lie in until 5:40am. Train at 6:55 for company outing to Kanazawa-Bunko World of the Office of the Future. Smugly criticise everything. To izakaya at midday. Drinking until 11:50. Tearful drunken reconciliation with Yoshinaga-san on platform. Last train at midnight. In bed at 1:15am.

Sunday: sleeping, and dreaming of my wife, of the future.